Happy Birthday from Below to Above

Happy Birthday in Heaven baby... Love you still, miss you forever! as 2025 approaches yet another birthday

without you... sharing from a friend that knows exactly how I felt today There are moments when the silence becomes so profound, it envelops me like a heavy, invisible weight. It’s the kind of silence that weighs heavy in a home once filled with shared moments and warm voices. In these moments, I can find myself unexpectedly angry, or overly emotional —not necessarily at anyone or even any specific thing — but perhaps at life itself for its sudden reclaiming of what was held most dear. The ache of loss persists. Some days it’s softer, quieter, almost as if the part of me that accepts that my love rests easy, pain and sickness free is trying to take the lead forward. But other days, it’s so loud that it’s all that can be heard. But it’s always there—always an integral part of me. It’s in every shared story and every memory we lived—something that will never leave me entirely. What we had, what we shared for almost 20 years was so simple, yet so profound: a love that remained steadfast and unwavering. I had someone who held my hand when the weight of the world pressed down, who shared laughter and the tears with me at the smallest and the largest of life’s moments, who was my constant through all life’s ups and downs. I miss the reassurance of knowing that there’s someone who chooses to be there, not just for a fleeting moment, but for every shared morning light and whispered goodnight. I miss you JC

Jerry L.Chappel Memorial 02/05/50 - 07/31/09

For all of us out there who knew him it was undeniable that Jerry L. Chappel was a one of a kind individual with a heart of gold. I had the privilege to call him my boyfriend for over 14 years beginning in 1991 when I met him at the Plush Pocket Billiards in Northridge. He had been playing semi-professional 9 ball for over 30 years, competing, and winning many tournaments in California. He was known as the guy who beat Efren Reyes in Reno, Nevada in 1985. Check out his reviews with the U.S.P.P.A at the following link: http://www.usppa.com/RenoRecap/Dec06.html

After serving in Vietnam Jerry had a career history in the Aerospace Industry and actually lived in Greenland for a few years working as an Electrical Engineer on various communication satellites. He had a BA in Design Engineering from Cal State Northridge and was responsible for the design of a few patented parts that were used on the space shuttle. Jerry's true passion for work came after many years when he decided he might enjoy teaching, so he applied to ITT Tech in Sylmar, where he had been working, teaching 3rd semester classes in electronic design for over 8 years. He was voted favorite teacher of the year, 2 consecutive times, and was known as the teacher who wasn't afraid to "break a few rules" himself.

But, for me he was just..."My Gentleman Jerry" and the love of my life.

Jerry came into my world at one of the lowest points of my life. I was a single mother raising two young boys, with no real career, but doing something I loved (like him) working in the photo industry. I was struggling financially to make ends meet and rarely went out to do anything fun for myself. Whenever I needed a little mommy relief I enjoyed going down to my local billiards room to knock around a few balls. I started playing when I was 14 and thought I was pretty good till I met Jerry and found out what playing REAL pool was all about. One thing lead to another and before we both saw it coming we began a love affair that lasted over 14 year... Most years we were on cloud 9 but sadly, other months on extended "time outs" when we just needed to find ourselves again. One thing was always certain though... that we loved each other madly!

Oil and Water... Fire and Rain... Ocean and Desert...

Jerry, as many of us close to him knew, was a man of few words when it came to his personal feelings about someone, but something not too many people knew about him was that he could write the most beautiful letters expressing his feelings for me in a way no one ever had! Each and every one will now become a cherished keepsake I will treasure for the rest of my life.

As the line from Bridges of Madison County goes...
"This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime" and that certainty for me was that I loved this man more than anyone in my life... and more than anyone I ever will again!

When a woman makes the choice to have children; in one way, her life begins but in another way, it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they grow up and leave they take your life of details with them. And then you're expected move again only you don't remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself. You never in your life think that love like this can happen to you again... but it did for me. It did because of Jerry!

I never in my wildest dreams believe I would find someone as generous, kind hearted, and wonderfully caring that would want to love someone like me, but I did. I'm still not sure why he would choose to take on such a "baggage" laden lady like myself, but he did, and my life was never the same from that day on. When we first met we had both been recent victims of overwhelming heartache in the matters of disastrous past relationships, and knew our frailties would have to be handled very delicately... but love DID prevail and so began the story of Jerry and Laurie.

With tears in my eyes and an emptiness in my heart that could fill a million galaxies...

I must report to all reading this now that my love, Jerry Chappel, passed away very suddenly on July 31st of 2009 from an apparent massive heart attack. I found out from his brother the following Monday. Unfortunately, his family has a history of heart disease and he was always tell me that he just "knew" somehow it would be the way he would pass on as well. Jerry use to tell me stories of how he'd had a few “near death” experiences earlier in his youth, and how he had always felt someone or something had been watching over him back then because it just wasn’t his time yet.

Now... his purpose in life is clear! "Somewhere else out there...Someone needed him more than those he left behind"

Jerry had lost his dad very early in life and also his beloved mother to cancer almost 10 years ago. I MUST believe he is now safe in her arms once again. His mom "Bea" was very dear to me also. I only knew her for a short time, but found her to be an extremely strong and compassionate woman who loved her children dearly! Without her in our lives early on in our relationship, it's doubtful that there would have been an "us" as long as there was.

I know in my heart that Jerry will always be up there watching over me and my kids as our “guardian angel” now. He was especially close to my oldest son Derrik from the time he was 11 years old. Jerry became the “father figure” he never had over our 14 years together. They both loved playing video games and were planning to get together for lunch for my son’s 25th birthday, just days before he passed away. Even since our last separation almost 2 years ago, he made it a point to always contact my son and let him know if there was ever anything he needed that he could always depend on him to be there 24/7!

My thoughts and prayers now are for his surviving younger brother Tom and older brother Bill, as well as beloved cousin Debbie (his intellectual equal in the debating department). Oh how I loved to see them go at it sometimes! In the years we were together his family always loved me and treated me as part of their own, and for this I am eternally grateful as they will help carry on his memory for as long as I have them in my life, which will hopefully be for the rest of mine!

Jerry was 59 years old on February 5th. He was single, and had never married, but all through our relationship had spoke of dreams that we might someday be together again, after having been separated for the last few years and "make our peace" with each others mistakes that had separated us time and time again, so that we could FINALLY someday find ourselves together FOREVER...living out in the wilderness somewhere as some little old grey haired seniors couple, holding hands, sitting on a porch, watching a lovely sunset together from our cabin in the mountains that we dreamed of having someday. It was our one common bond, and ultimate goal, to grow old together and get as far away from L.A. as possible so that we might retire to the great outdoors as we always knew we would.

Sweetheart... "I know (in my heart) I'll find you again someday and we'll make that dream come true!" But...for now, I know I'll have to take comfort in knowing you'll be watching over me... loving me always, as I will you!

I am hoping anyone who happens to find this blog via the tags (billiards, 9 ball, Plush Pocket) will pass the word on that we lost Jerry this year. Many of his pool player friends are scattered about the U.S. as well as many of his past & present students at I.T.T. in Sylmar, Ca. (I'm sure) will want to know their favorite teacher is gone now.

An informal "get-together" was held at his house in Canoga Park with his brothers and cousin the Tuesday after his passing. Nine of his favorite students and a few faculty members showed up along with a few close friends from the Plush Pocket. One of his very favorite students even left his gold rope tassel from his graduation last year (at the top of his class he said) for his brother Tom to keep with the memorial photo poster we had set up that day. It's important that everyone know just how special he was to all of his students and how special they all were to him! Hopefully they will all go on to have wonderful careers in Electronics (thanks to Jerry's undying love for his teaching career) and so many of the students he inspired during his employment at ITT Tech.

Along with the many tears we shared that day we all found out that Jerry was loved very much....ALWAYS...for exactly the person he was to each and every one of us! Sometimes that person could be pretty stubborn and difficult, but most times he had a heart of gold and a smile that could light up a room! His memory will live on in all of us for many different reasons I'm sure!

It was Jerry's wish to be cremated and have his ashes scattered at one of his favorite places on earth....Yosemite! Hopefully, I'll be able to go there some day to honor his wishes....although it might be quite a hoot and extremely ironic if I took a few ashes over to our friend (Joe Porper) who makes pool cues and have him incorporated a few of the ashes (somehow) into a cue that could be donated to a first prize winner at a top-notch pro tournament somewhere down the line! Bet he'd get a chuckle out of that! I know for a fact the first person he'll be looking for up there (next to his family) will be "Minnesota Fats"! Watchout for anyone who can play a mean game of chess also! Jerry always LOVED an intellectual challenge!

"Oh baby... you will be missed SO much down here" Why we didn't try just one last time to resolve our issues that seem SO trivial now, I'll never know? I guess I'll have to live with that decision for the rest of my life... so empty now without you in it!

I write these words with a very heavy heart, but with a smile on my face also for this incredibly complexed man that I had the privilege to love for the best part of my life. Somethings (like our special bond) didn't require many words and we actually liked it that way. We just always knew we were there for each other! I only wish now that I hadn't made that the case in this last year of his life, and I could have  just one last time to tell him (in person) how much I loved him and how much he meant to me, having him in my life! Jerry never quite understood why I was always taking the hundreds of photographs of him at all of the places we had been on our travels together! Maybe now he will! The photos are all I have left and I take comfort that I can gaze on his face, remembering all the crazy places we had been together and all the crazy things we did to each other in those places! "Yosemite, Northern California, Alaska, Arizona, Utah"... Sweetheart, I'm hoping you know how happy I was having you by my side over all those miles!

"There will NEVER be another Jerry Chappel" (and I'm guessing every family member and close friend he's had over his lifetime will feel exactly the same way for a very long time)

The song "Our Love" by Michael McDonald was one I dedicated to him frequently between our last separation! It will hold "true" to my love for him till we can be together again someday!

Always And Forever  Babe!

Your Lady Laurie

For Jerry... OUR LOVE!

Lost and lonely lives
Floating like waves at sea
We make it day by day
Watching the world go by

In a moment where time stands still
From here we look out on forever
And we can see all that time will tell

Darling, our love
One love that never fades away
Our love
This love will light the world on its way

Shattered, broken dreams
Sifting like grains of sand
We claim it and here we stay
Watching the world go by

With the strength that we spend in this life
In the hope that it goes on forever
We believe as we promise to try, that

Darling, our love
One love that never fades away
Our love
This love will light the world on its way

In a moment when time stands still
From here we look out on forever
And we can see all that time will tell

Darling, our love
One love that never fades away
Our love
This love will light the world on its way